i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
