Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
