I heard we made out
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
