So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
