New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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