He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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