There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
