Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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