You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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