We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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