Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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