Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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