I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
