Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
