That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
