i was rollin on her like bob the builder
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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