could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
