Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
