i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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