Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
