after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
