Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
