Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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