He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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