i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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