I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
