That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
