yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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