And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
