Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
