I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
