Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
