I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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