haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
