I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
