No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
