Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
