cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
