I have demons in me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
