At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
