i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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