Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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