We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
