TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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