i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it glows. i had to have it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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