dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i've created a new STD.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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