You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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