my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
