I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
