im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
