she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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