so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
